ually confused. I like this girl a lot but im attracted to men, what should i do?

Im in love with this girl and i like everything about her, but im attracted to men. when i was 5 i was ually abused by a man on numerous occasions,being that i was 5 i did not know what going on. i thought i was perfectly normal, i have been thinking that being that it was my first time doing something ually i was somehow confused. I've havent had since then, but i imagine that with men would be painful yet im still attracted to them and fantasize about them. But I've realized something... sometimes my sister would sit on my lap and i would get an , i of course im not attracted to her because she 4, but I've snuggled with girls before and have had an then too. I've been thinking it might be something like my instincts kicking in. I mean i can't say that i hate with women because i havent had it, but i cant say that i like sex with men since I've only fantasized about it, but im still attracted to them, i think it might have to do with my childhood and how i was abused.I cant imagine me dating a guy, it just doesn't feel right and not because people hate gays, i just cant see myself dating another guy.