Do you like this poem?Comments and suggestions appreciated..?

Mo, let me comment briefly on your new poem. You have used the familiar naturalistic motif of the stream as a symbol of life, and more particularly its changeability, its 'movement.' The second stanza suggests that in the stresses and strains of life, you can nonetheless 'unwind' in this setting. The third and final stanzas mark, in a most straightforward fashion, a transition adumbrated by the moving waters of the first stanza, viz. the loss of a significant, ostensibly romantic ('hands intertwined') other. You suggest, through the repetition with modification of the second lines of the last two stanzas, that the loss was not one that was foreseen, signified by the traditional motif of 'blindness,' which here is metaphorical rather than literal. The loss of the relationship has left you vulnerable, and yet it is one you chose yourself; you decided to 'move on.' This is the poem of a young lady, no longer a girl, but not yet a woman, who is learning about the complexities of life in ways that are by turns heartbreaking and yet unavoidable. As for technical craft, your poem generally flowed smoothly, but I think it would be improved by stanzaic structure that stays consistent throughout the poem. I think this could be accomplished as four quatrains, and though you could vary line length within quatrains, the pattern should be repeated from one quatrain to the next. Your poem will read more smoothly and leave a stronger impression. You might want to do a bit more with the stream metaphor of the first stanza; it is largely subsumed in the more overtly confessional ensuing stanzas. A good first draft that could be further improved if you were so inclined.